Friday, January 25, 2008

Random Thoughts.....

Here I go again, blogging at 2 am in the morning and I'm supposed to wake up at 6.30 tomorrow morning, argh, can't sleep, so many things running through my mind right now. I guess my blog has turned more into an entertainment website than a real blog, alot of you may not agree with, but that just me, thats just what I think. Its suppose to be a journal where I just write my thoughts and share with you all my views in life, alas, its been a long since I've written something like this on my blog.

I can't stop thinking about what I said this morning in the seminar held by the counselling unit this morning, about fear of putting in so much effort, yet not get back the results that i desire, felt like I missed a few parts, so I'm just gonna continue it here. I know I'm not the same person I was from yesterday, from an hour ago or even a minute ago, cause we evolve as time goes by, its a fact, so far, thats the new philosophy that I go by in my life whether in education, in life in love, thats so far the way I go by in my life. So, I'm still trying to accept the failures that I've experienced in the past and trying to learn from those mistakes, hoping to make a difference in the future. But as we all know, whenever we make a decision to change ourselves, all the other things in life will come and prevent you from succeeding in your mission to betetr yourself. For example, your friends will tell you that its just 3 minutes heat or like, hard obstacles will make you lose confidence(like really really hard maths, thats always a downer...). I actually kinda get fed up with all the negative input i get from some of my buddies, not targeting anyone in particular, seriously, but from a whole lot friends. I don't know, maybe its human nature for someone to put another person down when that person is in a good mood, basically so that he will feel as rotten as the other guys does. Its like, I'm feeling rotten, why the heck should you feel happy. I always feel a sting in my heart whenever I criticise myself or even other people, feeling like, "its not true, I can do better, I'm not like that, I'm not worthless.....", because its true, we aren't what we think we are, we're not useless bums, we're just unrefined diamonds waiting to "be refined". We always say, we're escaping, but we never say we're escaping from what. From my opinion, we're just escaping from adulthood, afraid that if we were to seriously study and take up responsibilities, we would lose all the naiveness we once had or even the fun we once knew, but that is part of life, we have to learn to grow up, thats the cruel fact of this insanely twisted world, happiness will never stay with us for too long, happiness always seems shorter then hardship because we enjoy happiness but suffer during hardship. But whoever told us, the adult world is scary? Its just another thing we have to face, by losing some "things", we gain something else in our life, maturity, wisdom and whole lot of other "fun", wakakakakaz!!!!!

Like Christopher Reeves said, "Our dreams, however impossible, sometimes may even seem improbable, but when we summon the will, it is inevitable". My dream is to be able to inspire people, to make them gain confidence, to be able to lift people's spirits, so that they can strive for a better aim in life, but to do that, I need to better myself 1st, improve myself, its a very very slow process, but what can I say, I'm only human, it takes time, its not something overnight right? Giggles.

I am looking for my path in life now, hoping I'll be able to see the light soon, the last piece of puzzle in my life, I wonder what it is, and I hope its what I'm thinking of too.

Matters of the heart, no matter how much I wish to share with you all, it is still not the right time, though I can tell you 1 thing, good things never comes easy, and I hope the effort I put in is enough to fulfill my dreams, not only in the matters of the heart and also in the journey of life, I now wonder, will I look back at this post and grin to myself, wow, I wrote this on Saturday morning at 2 am......

Lastly, I would just like to end my blog with 1 thing my father once said to me, which I agree the most, "failure only makes success sweeter, so when success comes, the feeling is incomparable to any feeling in the world".

So till next time with the japanese trip post, toodles!!!!

1 comment:

huifang said...

i'm glad to see you standing out on friday to share what you've written.
The things you've said was like a magic spell that woke me up that moment, telling me what i was searching for right there so close to me, but i've never notice it.You make me realise i was such a stupid fool wasted so much time on 'searching for myself'
I agree everyone evolves as time passes. challenges in life, inevitable obstacles, cruelty of reality makes us tougher as we grow older.None of them can we avoid.No one in this world is worthless.
Hope you'll be able to find that path u wanted soon. =D