Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Pressure Is Setting In

AH!!!!!! the pressure of exam is setting in, the feeling of insufficient time is looming over again, what to do, this is what we have to expect in Form 6 right? I've started to pay attention in class again, something kinda drove me into studying groove again, started to take down notes again in maths period, listening to chemistry in chem period, bio period paying more attention and the rest, ah, you know. Sleepless nights have been haunting for the past few months, I kept repeating to myself, another 9 more months, and this will all be over and I can again plan on how to go over my life, and hopefully, this time, I can utilize my free time more wisely, better than the time after SPM, OMG, that was a nightmare, but we learn from mistakes, so this time, have to benefit from the free time. Birthday is coming up, May 4th that is, but lolz, i rarely celebrate my birthday with my friends, usually only with my family and we just go out for dinner, thats all, no biggy, hope what I wish for will come true this year, and I think you all know what it is, (chuckles)....

Been thinking a lot lately, about what I'm gonna do in the future. My main choice would be psychology, but there are so many other fields or professions that I'm interested out there, so they can be taken into consideration, some more I have some objection from my parents on taking psychology, so basically, I have to rethink everything, because I myself have some doubts in this profession, lets see how the outcome is in the end.

Found out that I'm a bit jumpy these days, and I'm like turning a bit of a crazy, not mentally, but just in action, I will do things and say things that I wouldn't usually say, kinda to hide the hurting inside of me now. I'm actually wrenching pretty hard inside, to put on a mask everyday to go to school, to pretend there is nothing happening, argh, it hurts, but who knows how I feel? To speak truthfully, nobody knows how I feel now, even if you know what I mean, you will NEVER know how I feel now, to fake a smile, to fake everything I feel, its a hard job, anyway, no more of that.

Ok, got to go sleep now, got school tomorrow, so nitez and till next time everybody!!!

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